All my life, I’ve tried to watch what’s around me—what’s good, what works, what works elsewhere or for other people—and then try to do it that way, to live that way. Hoping it would make things at least a little better for me and for others around me,
When it came to Christmas, for a long time as a Hungarian I thought Americans do it right: they work on the 24th, they work on the 26th. No fussing around, no unnecessary celebrating, no store closures, no stopping the economy for days—just a single day off. And look how well they live, how much further they’ve gotten, how much happier they are!
But since I’ve been living in Denmark, I’ve had to rethink a lot. Of course there are several reasons for that, but anyone who has been to this northern country can feel it right away: Danes somehow experience things differently.
And that’s very true for Christmas, too. Everything is closed on the 24th, everything is closed on the 25th, and even on the 26th. Three full days of complete calm. The Christmas tree seller packs up on the morning of the 23rd—he’s basically sold almost every tree days earlier anyway; people don’t leave buying to the last day. The Christmas market is taken down completely on the 23rd—everyone has already bought their gifts in time, and anyway, on the 24th the vendors, the repairmen too, belong at home with their families.
There aren’t traffic jams on the roads before the holidays; there aren’t more people out than usual. In the shops and stores, there’s no pushing, no unbearable crowds—except maybe in the touristy places. On the 23rd, the last day things are open, you can still breathe in the shops; shoppers don’t knock each other over, impatient lines don’t snake all the way out to the street. If you didn’t look at the calendar, you might not even be able to tell from anything else that it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow. People don’t rush; they buy and take care of what they need in time. They prepare for what may be the most beautiful holiday of the year not out of nervousness, but out of calm and love.
And the Danes are happy. Maybe I don’t even need to introduce that—one of the happiest countries, one of the happiest peoples in Europe and the world. Stopping, slowing down, honest and calm rest are a natural part of their lives. And it doesn’t make them any less—on the contrary, it makes them more.
They don’t have to shove each other aside and compulsively spend every last penny on gifts even in the final hours, trying to show their love in the middle of all that struggle, trying to buy their own happiness and other people’s happiness with material things. They don’t have to keep grinding away at work even on the afternoon of the 24th, trying to drip one last drop of fake happiness into the false promise of happiness offered by the business world that swallows everything.
And do you know what’s the most beautiful thing about all of this? That the Danes are not only rich in spirit, but rich materially as well. We’re talking not only about one of the happiest countries, but also one of the richest in the world.
So then maybe they really are doing something right, aren’t they?!
Maybe it’s not the Americans’ one-day Christmas that brings real happiness and well-being. Maybe the future won’t be better if, even on the 24th, we expect others to serve us at their workplaces instead of being with their families. Maybe we won’t love and respect each other more because of traffic jams that turn people against each other and mountains of gifts that drive many people into personal loans.
Danish Christmas made me think deeply, and it pointed to something I had really only been searching for until now.
It’s possible to live the holiday in calm, respecting one another—not only the holiday itself, but the days and weeks before it, too. It’s possible to live happily and in well-being even if we let the other person, if we let others, experience their own holiday freely and peacefully.
In fact, I think maybe this is the only way it really works.
I wish you a very happy, calm, intimate holiday season, and real happiness with yourself and with the people you love. At Christmas, and all year long!